Thursday, March 7, 2013


Co-parenting doesn't have to be the pits.
I watched Dr Phil today and below you can watch a snippet of todays show.
 It was more or less nightmare of a co-parenting situation.

I can honestly say that regardless of some of my negative personal feelings and opinions I have with Pella's dad, I am happy to say 3 years later we have come to a place where him and I can be in the same room, same place, exchange our child with no drama, not want to rip each other apart or hurt one another, and most importantly communicate with one another. NOW, I'm not saying our situation is the perfect situation, its not, there are times when we upset one another with choices that we dont like, or whatever it may be... 
3 years ago when I was pregnant going through the hell of being pregnant practically single. gave birth, had a baby, got through the first year of her life, it was THEE toughest 22 months ever.
I'll be honest, I'm stubborn, I'm honorary, I'm independent, and I struggled with "co-parenting" especially when its with someone you have NOTHING but resentment and hurt with.
What was important to me what being able to provide my daughter with positive energy, and a stable home. I knew me being with her dad was NOT the answer, but being able to get to the point where I really accepted that and acted on that took me a damn year. With therapy and medication (no SHAME) after Pella's birth, I learned I can't control him, or control my daughter, I could only control myself. So that meant letting go of control...super duper hard for me. It meant letting go of negative feelings I had for Pella's dad REGARDLESS of the unforgivable things he put me through, and the anguish I put on him TRYING to make him feel MY hurt. NONE of that is effective when trying to co-parent. I was inspired to write a little bit about my situation now and how it was then because today's Dr Phil made me FEEL so embarrassed for those people sitting up there who not only look stupid but are completely NUMB to what their doing to their kids. I was raised in a single parent home by my DAD, my mom was absent most of my life following their divorce when I was 10. I have a pretty good memory, and I NEVER heard my dad say one thing "bad" about my mom. I never heard them "Fight" in front of my sister and I. My mom may have chose to live the life she did, and my dad could have put his frustrations and negative feelings on us, but he never did, and I also don't resent my mom for what shes missed out on or the choices she mad.
Parenting is a choice in my opinion. "CO-Parenting" is also a choice. 
I hope I can inspire people who hang on to negativity and control with their baby mama's and or baby daddy's to LET GO and do whats right for your kids. I am who I am today because my dad chose to set as best example as he could with co-parenting. Its unfortunate and things happen when it comes to relationships, and I definitely disagree with A LOT of Pella's fathers 'life choices' but I can only do whats best for Pella and maintain stability for her. Pella is 100% ENTITLED to love her dad, and feel her own emotions with life situations, I only hope her dad would say the same about me too, and right there I can sleep at night knowing co-parenting doesnt have to be the pits!
 I hope more people would do the same to preserve the good in our children and not wreck them with mental anguish!


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