Saturday, October 2, 2010


What does one do when shes been emotionally abused EVERYDAY?
What does one do when shes tried everything?
What does one do when shes at her wits end?
I get it, people co-parent EVERYDAY. People move on. People don't.
But this girl, "me" is in a very tough position to be in.
I get questions EVERYDAY pertaining to BD, who he is, where he is, why i'm single.
I have NEVER publicly broadcast our drama, or real truth of the matter.
Why? bc I read a lot of blogs that people go into their personal drama, and to read it it sounds terrible, trashy, and its just not anyones business! I have always regardless of how HARD it may be or ADRENALINE I have to fight against I have ALWAYS been the bigger person, I have ALWAYS done whats in the best interest of my daughter, for my daughter. I have extremely different opinions on how i would "TRULY" LIKE to be able to handle this matter, but I dont do it. I shut my mouth, I show up on time, I do what I am morally supposed too.
Now.... BD does NONE OF THAT.
Our situation as co-parents could be a so easy and simple, and unfortunately its NOT.
People tell me "Dont read the emails, Dont let him get to you...blah blah"
Guess what, what people DONT know is the constant what I call harassment he does to me..
NEEDING TO TALK TO ME everyday, all hours of the night, sending me stupid love songs to listen too, emailing me novels about how he "truly" feels...its endless BS with this guy...all while hes engaged to someone else who HAS NO CLUE who her fiance "truly" is. Well we will NOT get into that, because lucky me, both BD AND "soon to be step bd mama" read this blog.
Reason for this post is.... RESPECT is a word some people just don't seem to understand.
BOUNDARY is a word some people just don't understand
CONSEQUENCE another word that is misunderstood.
and most importantly FAIRNESS, the last word that seems to be misconstrued.
Now while I sit here thinking to myself, yeah I could have pretended like I didn't see BD exposing my child to his toxic relationship...I did what I believed was in the best interest of my 8 month old baby (who bless the lord has no clue what happened) I removed her from that situation. It was a situation that was "sworn and promised" to me would NEVER happen out of "RESPECT, AND FAIRNESS" to me and Pella. AGAIN.....2 WORDS that someone seems to not give a fuck about. and thats OK. guess who's gonna feel like a real jerkoff when hes got his fiances panties all in twist over his double life he seems to be living on the daily? NOT ME.
Im sure there are plenty of other woman who may be in my shoes, or were in my shoes, but I dont know if any have had to deal with a man who has NO idea what hes doing with his life, and in the chaos of his life hes making chaos for everyone else around hims life..
I know right and wrong, and yes it may not be the best thing to have blogged about this , but this is my life EVERY FUCKIN THURSDAY AND SATURDAY. CHAOS.
so before he thinks about throwing me under the bus again......he should have known this would be coming....or disrespecting me again, maybe just maybe hell think about his daughter. as for "Mini me" goes, girl needs to take a solid look at who shes about to walk down the aisle with and procreate with. LOL.
Cheers to being a wreck of human, and unfortunately being a parent to a baby who's being treated UNFAIRLY. All while I sit here and continue to "DO THE RIGHT, RESPECTFUL, AND FAIR" thing.
I am hurt. and disgusted. by your actions.


  1. He sounds very irritating! Maybe this post will help him realise he needs to leave you alone and just be a dad to Pella.

    I know you will be ok, as stressful as all this is! Much virtual support and love to you. :)

  2. You have the support of every mother striving for what is best for their babies.

  3. The best thing you can do for your daughter is to just keep doing what you are doing. I was a single mother to my now 11 year old until I met my now husband 4 years ago. Her father is a man child, I was always nice to him and let her see him and what not and now she is seeing that he is a loser and is wanting less and less to do with him.

  4. I am a 22 year old single mama as well to a 9.5mo baby girl, my BD doesnt know what he wants to do with his life either, didnt want to be involved but is because of his mother, he sees our daughter a couple times a month or goes a whole month without seeing her. It's super frustrating. Do what you think is best for your daughter. So far it sounds like you're doing a hell of a job, keep it up and just know that there are other Mamas out there going through similar situations and we're all there to support each other.

    Ash from


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